Although I had been getting more and more short of breath over the last few months, on my last visit to Utah during the first 10 days of May, I became seriously ill and had to go into ER in a local hospital. My blood was seriously anemic and I was getting a lot of water in my lungs so that I was continually running low on oxygen.

     On returning home, I have continued under doctors care. Although no one can figure out why I was so anemic, the fluid problem in my lungs and swelling in my body was the result of what is called congestive heart failure brought on by my prolonged but controlled diabetic condition.

     In Salt Lake at our RFA workshop, where I was looking like death-warmed-over, I had the whole group do an RFA on me the first night. What we found is that three months before, I had reacted subconsciously to a situation with a dear friend. This friend had been experiencing one incredible, miraculous event after another. On a conscious level, I was thrilled, though somewhat bewildered, by his experiences. But on my subconscious level (our 90% self), I had taken his exciting, yet "weird" stories as a personal threat to my own spiritual mission. Now, remember, I did not know anything about this on my conscious level. But my new prayer of the heart was that I wanted out. I wanted to be released from my mission and go home, i.e., die. God always answers the prayer of the heart, not the lips, so I was starting to check out.

     Because of what I learned in that RFA, I saw the joke and made a new decision (prayer) of my heart that not only did I want to live and finish my other two books in the Blessing Hitherto Unknown series, but I was fully willing to become "a reprover in the gate," as Isaiah was shown there would be some in these last days. You can look it up for yourself in his incredible message to the Church in the latter days, the 29th chapter. Nephi, in 2 Nephi 26-28, quoted much of this 29th chapter in warning the Church in our day when we will be saying, "All is well in Zion, Zion prospereth, all is well."

     Upon returning home to California, I had my wife do another RFA on me to find the source, the old, old tape, which must have made me a sitting duck to the inner conflict I had experienced three months before. The original decision, the old tape, went back to when I was about two and a half years old when my new, younger sister, in my way of seeing, stole my mother away from me and I decided that I was going to have to live without being loved. Healing this big black hole was an essential part of really changing the prayer of my heart. Following the second RFA, muscle testing suddenly showed that I no longer was being benefited by the homeopathic and allopathic remedies I was taking, such as cell-salts (homeopathic to help the blood) and a diuretic (allopathic to get rid of the accumulation of fluids) . I stopped cold turkey, much to the surprise of my doctor, and. equally surprising, have been getting better and better, little by little, every day.

     Isaiah talked about the day when a book would be delivered to a special people.

     Isaiah next described the spiritual condition of those who will receive this book, which would be modern Israel, who he saw would be very similar to ancient Israel. His very next verse reads:

     Ancient Israel had a hard time following their priesthood leaders until they became a much more zealous people, as they were in the days of Christ and the early apostles. In fact, they were so proud that they were no longer the kind of people that killed their prophets. Yet Christ warned them that they really were, and that all of the blood of the prophets would be put upon the heads of that generation, which happened in the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 AD, 36 years later. In fact, in the days of Christ, there were some of the leaders who truly believed in Jesus, but they kept it to themselves for fear of being excommunicated. As John reports,

     So what did Isaiah say would exist in our day when the book would be delivered and we were coming close to the Lord with our lips but not our hearts? Isaiah sadly warned us about our prophets and rulers:

     Later in the chapter, Isaiah returns to the subject of the book, for only the meek shall see what it really means.

     Yes, those who know they have been deaf and blind, but because of their meekness shall see and hear, thus shall increase their joy in the Lord. But these are the poor. What about the rich and proud. Isaiah next recognized their problem and gave them a warning.

     Earlier in this newsletter, I mentioned that I saw that I had been unwilling to be a reprover in the gate, and was checking out. So I changed my mind and decided, Heck, why not!

     Since entering the rest twelve years ago, I have been willing to witness to the meat of the gospel but less and less interested in contending with those who believed the milk was all there is. I could see that "Great-and-Spacious-Building-Saints" are just fine the way they are and did not need to be fixed. Besides, contending with them is fruitless. I much preferred being a peaceful walker with the children of men, regardless of their level of spiritual growth.

     Four years ago, when my new stake president told me that my Book I, Looking Beyond the Mark, was an apostate book because the Church is not under condemnation like I said, I began to realize that it would only be a matter of time that I would be shut down. Finally, within another year or so, I had agreed to do no more trainings, firesides, or workshops and to no longer distribute my Book I, which was the only one I had at the time. Then in November of 1997, I decided that the Lord was inspiring my stake president to give me a choice, to either stay in the Church and go mute or to step outside and proclaim the gospel meat which I could see why the Lord did not want the priesthood leaders to teach at this time. The reason is that perfect love casts out fear and most Mormons do not do well without fear. They are not so much afraid of going to hell as they are of missing that top spot. Thus, they are a disciplined, dedicated, zealous people which the Lord is using to build a glorious great and spacious building for latter-day Israel, preparatory to the day when he will humble us, and then empowers us with the glory and power of Zion.

     As I have explained in one of my Freebies, since my stake president was exercising what I believe heaven sees as unrighteous dominion, even though he does not, then heaven was not bound by his act of excommunication, which means I am still a full member on the records of the Church in Heaven. So I am no longer INSIDE the gate, nor am I OUTSIDE the gate, but I AM IN THE GATE. Since I believe the brethren are precisely where they need to be at this time, doing exactly what the Lord knew they would be doing, which is preparatory to the great humbling of the Church, I am not an apostate in any true definition of the term. But from here on out, I am going to stand firmly but calmly, witnessing to the price in spiritual poverty the Saints are paying for their cherished vanity and unbelief.

     My first project is to stop traveling so much and finish Book III and IV of my Blessing Hitherto Unknown Series. Then I plan to start buying a lot of radio time and raising a louder but not a contentious voice. I want to speak clearly that I do not believe that although the church is certainly NOT in apostasy, its members and leaders have a serious need to realize that as wonderful as things are, there is so much more glorious things to come. So, in reality, we have seen only the tip of the spiritual iceberg so far. But the promised glory cannot come through proudly hiding from our vanity and unbelief which President Benson assured us has kept the Lord’s condemnation still hanging over the Church.

     I trust that most of you who are receiving this newsletter have read Book I and II. If you have not, grab the phone and order your copies. I have a special going on at this time. The books are $12.00 each, but not only do you receive a free copy of my new book, Solving the Mormon Puzzle, but I will also send you a copy of The Real Christmas Tree. All these, with shipping, comes to almost $35.00. My special this month is that I will send you all four books for a total of $20.00, including shipping by Priority Mail. If you have a credit card, call 1-800-600-7327. If not, rush a $20.00 check to my address, 2681 Cameron Park Dr., #122, Cameron Park, CA 95682.

     For those of you who have read these books, it is probably time to read them again. You will be surprised to see how much you did not get the last time.

With His love,

Max B. Skousen